Saturday, February 2, 2013

How I WILL Rise To Power

My rise to power that will occur in the future will happen like this:
1.) The heavens will rain an extremely acidic substance which will melt through sections of the street. This will make driving impossible.
2.) The surface of the roads will increase in temperature until it reaches 1000000°C. Now, nothing can touch the road without melting, not even a tank.
3.) All technology will come to life and it will all have a deep-seated hatred of humans. This will render the technology of humans completely useless.
4.) There will be an earthquake like no other. It will cause the surface of the Earth to fracture and an army of angry mutants and giants (see image #1) will scramble up out the cracks.

image #1: Giant
They will then proceed to destroy New York City and using their incredible brainpower, they will build a gigantic fortress. (see image #2)

Image #2: Fortress
5.) The army of mutants and giants will recognize Lars (me) as their leader. I will then command them to take over North American Aerospace Defense Command. (NORAD) Their next command will be to upgrade a Panzer tank according to my standards. (See Image #3)

Image #3: Tank
6.) I will name my tank "Larsatron." I will then order my army to clone the Velociraptor, except they will all all obey me. They will eat my enemies in an arena for my own enjoyment. They will also be mounts for my army and there will be an entire legion of velociraptors. Some will also serve as bodyguards for my family members. I will then march on Paris, France to exercise  my rule over all of Europe. I will also clone sauropods like Seismosaurs. They will bring the Eiffel Tower to my mother, as she adores it. To protect her from angry Frenchmen, I will clone obedient Tyrannosaurs to serve as guards for her. And finally...



Rebecca Grace said...

I really like your fortress, Lars, and I'm touched that you'd bring me the Eiffel Tower AND resurrect dinosaurs to protect me. But I want to know how come WE don't all melt long before the temperature of the Earth reaches a million degrees Celcius? All humans would die from hyperthermia after only 10 minutes or so of just SIXTY degrees Celcius. Check this out:
I think the whole planet and everything on it would liquify long before a million degrees Celcius. I accidentally had the digital thermometer for steaming milk switched to Celcius and the milk was boiling ferociously at around 90 degrees. Another latte down the drain... ;-)

Fred and/or Marlies said...

Ah, you mom expressed my thoughts but let's say you misstated the degrees Celsius and mankind did survive, what would you have them do differently under your rule?

To be in charge of something, a house, a city or country means taking responsibility to ensure the welfare of your subjects. How would you do this job better then those whom you propose to remove from office?

Let me hear from you. I want to know your thoughts.


Grampa said...

You do have a vivid imagination. Why do you want to be in charge? With great power comes great responsibility. If you alone have all the power, you alone have all the responsibility. Look at the US president. He just is the leader of the US (and he has "help" from congress & the courts). But he works extremely hard making tough decisions and working. Imagine having total responsibility for the whole world how hard you'd have to work!

告چᏍᏄᏈ شऔ ㅎखБ said...


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