How I WILL Rise To Power

My rise to power that will occur in the future will happen like this:
1.) The heavens will rain an extremely acidic substance which will melt through sections of the street. This will make driving impossible.
2.) The surface of the roads will increase in temperature until it reaches 1000000°C. Now, nothing can touch the road without melting, not even a tank.
3.) All technology will come to life and it will all have a deep-seated hatred of humans. This will render the technology of humans completely useless.
4.) There will be an earthquake like no other. It will cause the surface of the Earth to fracture and an army of angry mutants and giants (see image #1) will scramble up out the cracks.

image #1: Giant

They will then proceed to destroy New York City and using their incredible brainpower, they will build a gigantic fortress. (see image #2)



Image #2: Fortress

5.) The army of mutants and giants will recognize Lars (me) as their leader. I will then command them to take over North American Aerospace Defense Command. (NORAD) Their next command will be to upgrade a Panzer tank according to my standards. (See Image #3)



Image #3: Tank

6.) I will name my tank "Larsatron." I will then order my army to clone the Velociraptor, except they will all all obey me. They will eat my enemies in an arena for my own enjoyment. They will also be mounts for my army and there will be an entire legion of velociraptors. Some will also serve as bodyguards for my family members. I will then march on Paris, France to exercise  my rule over all of Europe. I will also clone sauropods like Seismosaurs. They will bring the Eiffel Tower to my mother, as she adores it. To protect her from angry Frenchmen, I will clone obedient Tyrannosaurs to serve as guards for her. And finally...


I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!













voki number 1

click play and turn your volume up to max.

My Punishment for Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong

 

During his career as a cyclist, Lance Armstrong has been using bad drugs to win races. He made his teammates take the bad drugs, or else he would kick them off the team. He survived cancer, and then he went and won the Tour de France seven times. He was a real jerk, like the people in the Pinewood Derby who get one of those special upgrade packs for their cars and win because they upgraded their car with motors and engines. All in all, I cannot understand how Armstrong can live with what he has done. If I was an ancient Greek, I would expect him to go to the fields of punishment and have to be injected with a lethal acid that slowly devours him, from the inside out. Then, when he was devoured, he would reappear and the process would start all over again. I know that is harsh, but it is what he deserves.

 

Ranger's Apprentice: the Ruins of Gorlan *Spoiler Alert*

In case you don't already know, my favorite book series is called "Ranger's Apprentice". This blog post is a summary of the first Ranger's Apprentice book: the Ruins of Gorlan.

The first book is called "the Ruins of Gorlan". The main characters are Will: an orphan apprenticed to the ranger named "Halt" to become an Araluen Ranger; Alyss: an orphan apprenticed by Lady Pauline of the diplomatic service to become a courier; Horace: an orphan who joins battleschool to become a knight; Jenny: an orphan who is apprenticed to master Chubb; and George: an orphan apprenticed to the diplomatic service. The book begins with Will and Horace's apprenticeships and the rivalry between the two of them, until the Boar hunt. During the boar hunt, Sir. Rodney of battleschool kills the boar, but unknown to the hunters, there is a second boar who attacks Horace. However, Will sees the boar and shoots it with an arrow, starting an extremely close bond between them. Then, it's time for Halt and Will to go to the Gathering, in which all the rangers come together for one big meeting. That's when Halt, Will, and Gilan -Halt's last apprentice- are givin the task of killing the Kalkara. Can they do this? Find out for yourself!

NRG Kai

\Kai was not always a ninja, in fact, he started out as a blacksmith!  In case you are wondering 'who the heck is Kai?', well, Kai is the guy who is on fire in the above picture. Understand? Good. Kai became a ninja when skeletons kidnapped his sister Nya. Kai becomes an NRG ninja when he is trying to rescue Lloyd Garmadon, the green ninja from being incinerated in a volcano. His  power creates a bubble of lava to form around him.

The Naples Zoo

Yesterday, Opa and Oma took me to the Naples Zoo. I went there four years ago, and immediately I started to remember things from my last visit. I remembered the white boat we rode in on the "primate expedition". I also remembered the penguin exhibit and the lion that roared when Anders was leaving and stopped when Anders came back, but we didn't see them. The first thing we saw were macaws.

The Macaws

The next thing we saw was a jaguar. He looked very, very hot and in an attempt to hide from the sun, he was hiding inside of a cave. I really wish that he would have come out of his cave and up to the glass so that I could take an up close and personal picture of him.

The jaguar hides from the sun in his cave

The next thing we did was look at the alligators in their swamp. Sadly I couldn't get a picture of the alligators, as they were hiding in the shade on the other side of the Alligator Swamp, and we didn't go over there during our visit. I was surprised that the alligators weren't swarming the birds in their swamp.

All I got a picture of was a bird in the alligator swamp.

The next thing we did was watch the "SNAKES ALIVE" exhibit. The first snake that the men took out was a ball python. It was black and it started to constrict around the mans arm and he had to pull to get it off his arm. The next snake the men took out was a cottonmouth viper. If you see one, do NOT move, as you will scare him. The next snake the men took out was a king snake. A king snake eats other snakes, and only other snakes. In fact, a king snake's scientific name literally means "full of snake". The next snake the men took out was a Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake, my favorite snake of all time!

The Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake

Next up, we went on the "Primate Expedition" boat ride. We saw gibbons, white-handed gibbons, spider-monkeys, lemurs, and buff-cheeked gibbons. I was surprised that the apes and monkeys weren't howling at our boat like they did last time.

The Lemurs: King Julien and his stunt double!

Next, we went to see the Planet Predator show. The first animal that the brought out was a red tailed fox. Believe it or not, a red tailed fox's tail is gray, along with the rest of its body. The next animal that they took out on the stage was a Gila Monster. Its name is pronounced He-La Monster. Although it is VERY slow, it is EXTREMELY venomous. Next, we were shown a screech owl and a barn owl. The screech owl kills over 1000 mice a year, and the barn owl kills over 3000 mice a year. Finally, they brought out the two stars of the show, two Fusas! The Naples zoo is home to the only two Fusas who will let you put a collar and leash and won't kill you! It is the greatest hope of the Naples Zoo to raise these to Fusas to adulthood and to still be able to put a leash and collar on them and do shows with them!

The two Fusas are SO cute!

The next place we went was to the bear exhibit. When you look at the bears, it really is hard to imagine them as ferocious monsters.

the beautiful black bear

Finally, we went to the Maylasian Tigers area to meet the keeper and see the tigers being fed. I have a video of some of this:

I love roaring on the phone!

The Naples Pier

Yesterday I went to the mall because Oma had to buy pants. Anders and I got ice cream to eat while Oma bought her pants. I got a Stellar Sunday, and Anders got a chocolate chocolate ice cream in a chocolate chocolate cone. When Anders was finished with his ice cream, he had a chocolate chocolate goatee on his face. Once we left the mall, we went to the pier and saw dolphins.

On the Naples Pier with Anders

There were lots of people fishing on the pier. At the end of the pier, underneath a shack there were lots of dead fish. I also saw pellicans, seagulls, and crows. I thought it was awesome!